I was a taller girl too, once. (regala_electra) wrote in mmm_cooking,
I was a taller girl too, once.

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The First (and Therefore Most Awesome) Post From Your Mod

It is a fact, universally acknowledged, that regala_electra loves to cook. And slaughter literary quotes. However she loves cooking a bit more.

As this is the first post, I shall explain How It All Came To Be.

jennem forcedconvinced me to visit her in Texas. I was in the lovely company of not only that adorable darling, but also dawnydiesel, eleniangel, gatorjen, and nariya. During my time there, I cooked, I was horrified that they don't sell Perdue chicken in Texas, and I totally got the hang of jennem's kitchen.

After one meal, the idea of a food_chorus was brought up (and all the potential functions will be explained later on in this post and are now posted in the mmm_cooking info page). I offered to set it up, and here it is, and here you are. In a totally virtual way of course, unless you are standing behind my back and oh my god, what was that noise?

Ah, just the clacking of a keyboard. Alright then.

So after polling my flist with every little detail, including the name, I have devised the bestest food/cooking community ever, and yes, they are tons of other lj cooking/food communities, for their love is so canon, but that doesn't matter.

For this one is friendly, snarky, and totally meant to be fun, even when we're being food snobs. (Heck, we should be at our friendliest when we’re being snobs just to disarm people.)

The purpose of this community is to:

- Share recipes.

- Share exciting food tales (moments of piracy and/or interstellar travel a plus. Bonus for dramatic love stories, especially ones that defy death. Interesting villains with complicated stories are especially welcome, but don't try to redeem your villain with a lame plot device.)

- Share cooking horror stories (moments of piracy and/or interstellar travel expected, but not required. Bring your own horror soundtrack and you get a prize if you defied death or a sound of awe if you didn't and are posting from Beyond).

- If you have questions, need some tips or how to fix a recipe to suit your food preferences, or just want to know how to make Delicious and Delectable Things, post it and someone will answer.

- Find a baking expert, because dude, I am so not a baker.

- Worship at the altar of my awesome, awesome sakura knife. (Not an actual sakura knife, but just an awesome all around knife perfect for slicing and dicing anything, which I call my sakura knife.)

- Post pics of delicious food behind an lj-cut, although I will post none because my computer blows.

- Delight in cuisine from around the world.

- Share restaurant stories, whether they be good and bad, even if they're fast food (and yes, making fun of McDonald's new "I'd hit it" campaign is SO on topic. I'm lovin' it...hardcore)

- Sometimes have challenges akin to Make This Recipe. However you're never forced to actually make the recipe, just invited to try it, because I'm nice like that.

- Mock Sandra Lee. Oh wait. That's my job. Er. Talk about Food TV or any cooking shows, whether they be negative, positive, or questioning.

- Talk about weird/funny/unusual food guilty pleasures. Except mayo because ugh. Mayo is banned from mmm_cooking

- Anything else, including the kitchen sink.

Are you a good cook? Awful? Never really tried and fear stoves and knifes and pans? (And I understand the fear of pans, for yes they are indeed VERY scary.) Want to learn? Have no desire to, but want to watch virtual cookery?

Join mmm_cooking. Because someday, I will find a recipe for how to make donuts with zero calories that taste exactly like regular donuts. Or die trying. Mmm...donuts. [/Homer Simpson drool]

Also, here are a couple of general rules I just made up on the spot:

1. I am not really joking about the mayo. If you really, really have an awesome recipe that involves use of mayo (and you can't use something else in lieu of mayo) please use an lj-cut with the text warning me not to look.

2. Everyone is free to join. Tell your friends!

3. Posts must be on-topic. We have an insane amount of on-topic posts. Talking about writing a fanfic story with food involved is even allowed. Heck, talking about fictional shows involving cooking is allowed. Asking "Would Xander think real men don't eat quiche?" is even on topic.

4. Due LiEk if u spEkE lIeK dis - You are so banned. To quote one of my favorite icons, U is not a word. Proper spelling and grammar makes me not turn into Hulk and as Hulk would probably be a crappy cook, you don't want to see me angry. (However some grammatical errors are going to happen, I'm sure I have several in this post. So don't worry about composing a masterful treatise on the Art of Cooking.) Also, please use the Caps Lock on your keyboard because it wants to be used badly.

5. No talking of 'other boards or communities' in a negative light. Like, I know I'm going to be ranting about Sandra Lee for she is spreading Bad Cooking and Bad Food to those poor unfortunate souls who watch her show to learn how to cook. I may invoke the name of TwoP's Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee boards, but it is in respect and not to flame and/or bash that board.

6. There is no six, just as there is no conspiracy of cartographers to create a mythical land called 'England.' mangled from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead

7. No question is stupid, except for stupid ones. Like, "How come boiling my shoes in oil won't deep-fry them to a golden crisp?"

8. Teasing jennem is my job. :-P

9. All pics go behind lj-cuts. As do recipes (unless they are very brief recipes). Questions, short stories (such as a cooking horror stories), and brief posts are all okay to leave without lj-cuts. If you post a food-related or cooking-related quiz, that also goes behind your friendly lj-cut. This is to be merciful to others, but especially me. (Obviously, do not hot-link pics for that is very, very bad.)

10. Do not scold anyone for lacking mad cooking skillz - I have had my share of cooking-related tragedies (and will certainly share them) - the purpose here is to be an all around food and cooking community, with many purposes and sexy functions.

11. This community goes to eleven.

Questions? Comments? Just want to say hello? Go right ahead.

I may set up next week to be about posting food/cooking related memories, what you grew up eating, what you remember about cooking, but as for now, let us just revel in delicious, delicious cooking. Mmmm.

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